Sharing Tables Making Friends

Was having breakfast with Larry at d'Cengkih this morning when we met, were "chatted up" and made new friends with this couple, Faridah and Rahim.

Laksa Johor

d'Cengkih is our new "makan" place, in TTDI, serving delicious Johor cuisine, especially my all-time favorite: Laksa Johor. It being Malaysia Day today, the start of a long weekend holiday, the place is packed.

Larry and I had a table for four and I had just commented to him that we should offer to share our table with the droves of patrons coming in for their breakfast. He did just that to the next couple that walked in.

Mee Rebus

It was a rectangular table tucked into an awkward corner. We moved ourselves and our plates and glasses of teh tarik kurang manis (one of the best), plus the shells of the mussels from the delicious spaghetti vongole to the inner two chairs in the corner. Larry also started wiping down the table top where we were eating. The husband hastened to help out and the wife ended up sitting beside me on one side of the table. The husband sat opposite us while Larry squeezed himself cater-corner to us on the short end of the table.

The husband went off to the buffet line and the wife started chatting with us. By the time he came back to the table with his food, Faridah (and I) were in full gear, chattering 90 miles to the hour. Rahim gazed at his wife in wonder, then turned to Larry and asked, "Do they know each other?"
Larry smiled and inimical me had to jump in and answer a question not directed to me, "No, we just met but, that's what sharing tables is about - you make new friends."

One of the great things about Malaysians is our ability to share tables at a crowded eating place. Go to any crowded coffee shop, kopitiam, mamak stall and if you ask any Chinese, Malay or Indian occupying a table that could still fit you and your party, you'd be able to share tables. I have yet to meet with a "No" unless the seats were reserved for others on the way to join them. Everybody shares their tables when asked.

In fact, it is so much a part of our culture, that the asking and the "Yes" could be done without words. A smile, a hand, palm up, stretched midway to the empty chairs, an answering nod with or without a return smile and the second party joins the first. I've been in situations whereby the question asked wasn't the usual "May we join your table?" but was instead, "Are these seats taken?" Then the nod signifying "Yeah, you can share the table" might be a wee bit confusing and mistakenly construed.

But once the two parties are seated around the same table, more often than not, they become invisible to each other, much like people sharing the cab of a lift. Suddenly the numbers on top of the lift are more absorbing than a high thrill car chase on tv. That's in a lift but at a shared table, the parties will look at their food, the table, across the room, looking right through the other party as if they're invisible.

But once in a while, you share your table with kindred spirits. At the risk of showing my racist colors, I submit that it is easier to make friends with the Malays than the Chinese. They sure are much more friendly and too decent to be so offensive as to treat you like the Invisible Man.

Nevertheless, when you are such kindred spirits and have become such instant friends with your new friend, exchanging phone numbers and talking talking talking way after you have finished your food and your drinks; when you go to the cashiers to pay for your bill, even the cashier thinks you are old friends and asks you if he should total the two bills together. Just proves that although we Malaysians are not averse to sharing tables, the Invisible Man Syndrome is the common outcome of table sharing.